Christmas Time
Christmas Presents V Presence?
December comes with many labels.
‘Silly Season‘ is one that springs to mind for me. It’s a month that if we’re not careful, we can find ourselves rushing around like headless chickens doing 101 jobs (in addition to all the usual ones), going to Christmas events and scratching our heads wondering how this time of year has comes around so fast yet again!
Time goes quickly. Way too quickly for most of us and I suppose that in itself should be a lesson but this is where life is at now isn’t it? It’s a faster pace than before. We’re expected to do more, be more, have more and for some it’s never ending. That is, unless you decide yourself to do it a little differently. Somethings can’t be avoided (or can they?!) but ultimately, we all have choice in what we do, who we do it with or for and what we spend our most precious commodity (time) on.
Don’t get me wrong I LOVE Christmas time.
I love the warmth, generosity and compassion people show at this time of year. I love the magical excitement that consumes the kids. I love hearing about family members coming home from far and wide to spend their Christmas with family. Then there’s my clients who are celebrating their first Christmas with their little babies. It’s all so magical.
For me, there’s nothing more special than family and at Christmas it’s so important to celebrate it.
I lost my Dad a few years ago on St.Stephens Day, so Christmas that year was so very different to any I’d experienced before. We spent that Christmas in and out of the hospice, all together, talking, laughing, crying, sitting in silence, recounting all the wonderful things my Dad had done in his amazing life.
For some, losing a loved one at Christmas, especially a parent whom you adored, can really taint what’s suppose to be a happy time of year. Without my Dad, Mum and Gran (who was like a second mum to me) with us at Christmas there’s a huge void felt. What I wouldn’t do to have one more Christmas time with them… but in some ways I’m lucky too - my Parents and Gran instilled such positivity and love in me and my siblings that this is what continues on with me today. I’m also lucky to have an amazing husband and our two little girls who make my heart swell with pride each and every day (and sure they drive me bonkers too- but that’s for another post!)
This year for Christmas I want to try and keep things simple and as stress free as possible and make sure to enjoy as much down-time together as we can. I want to focus on ‘experiences’ over gifts and really absorb all the girls excitement!
In order to avoid some of the Silly Season’s pitfalls, here’s my Festive Family Plan.
Have Realistic Expectations: What are the most important things to you this Christmas? What do you value most?
We can sometimes set the bar way too high, so it’s important to figure out what’s manageable without stressing you, your partner or your kids out.Keep it Simple: When it comes to kids, a lot of the time, less is more. They want us, our attention, our engagement. Have you ever gone to a lot of trouble of planning a big day out that’s going to be SO.MUCH.FUN, only for something or someone to throw a spanner in the works leaving you feeling a little deflated ? Sometimes when we get rid of distractions (put away devices!) and become fully immersed in our little peoples world, that’s all they want. It could be staying at home playing ‘Shop’ or ‘Restaurant’ together, reading books snuggled up on the couch or building a ‘fort’ indoors, where the most yummiest picnic can be eaten. I know for me as a kid it was often the simple activities that I remember as the most magical.
Slow Down: Exactly as it says on the tin. This ‘Silly Season’ make it a priority to look after yourself. There is so much ‘doing’ we need to make sure there’s some ‘being’ in there too. When you have kids putting yourself high up on the to-do list can be difficult, but it’s just because we’re so used to putting others first. Make time to take a walk in the woods, by the sea or in the mountains. Read a book curled up by the Christmas tree or fire. Stay in bed a little longer than normal (taking turns with your partner can work well:) and simply slow down to see the beauty in your day- whether that be your surroundings, your children or your family.
Be OK with saying NO: As tempting as it is to say ‘Yes’ to every invite you or your children may get over the festive season, make sure yes is the answer you really want to give. We are only great at bending over backwards for others or feeling like we ‘should’ do this or ‘should’ go there. Honestly, if all you need is a cosy day/night (staying in your Reindeer pyjamas all day) do it - and don’t feel one bit guilty!
Consider Giving a Little: Christmas is an expensive time of year for everyone, but I also think it’s a time of year when people stop to think about others a little more. Lots of people donate to charity on an ongoing basis, which is amazing if it’s feasible, but if it’s not maybe Christmas could be the time of year where you can spread a little love. We do a Kris Kindle in my family and this year I asked could my present be a donation to a chosen charity. We’re also donating a box of new toys to a children’s charity, which the girls will help us with. We want them to have some understanding that by doing something like this they are helping to make another families Christmas that little bit happier. These are just small gestures but when a number of people do their bit, big changes can happen.
Plan for 2020: Like I said above, I think ‘experiences’ are so well received by children and adults alike. Tickets to the cinema, a favourite restaurant, museums, farms, or places like Imaginosity and Explorium are just some suggestions. One year we received an annual pass to Dublin Zoo and we had so many lovely days there the following year!
Amongst all the presents, I hope you get to really enjoy each others presence and have fun doing all the things that make you and your family happy.
I hope 2020 will be one of your best years yet x
Kathy