Motherhood by Our Brave Hearts
Before you become a mother you have an idea of what motherhood will be like, a fantasy of what kind of mother you’ll be. It’s easy to make statements around how you’ll parent your baby, how you’ll never do this and never do that, how you’ll continue to make time for your partners and maintain a social life.
You reassure your friends that life will continue on as it was, the only difference being that there’ll be a little human coming along - it’ll be fun!
Then the baby arrives and you become a mother.
The reality of motherhood can often be a shock to many women and so many of us feel like we’re failing because we aren’t upholding the idealistic standards that pre-baby us said we would. But how could we? The pre-baby version of us had no idea what it would feel like to be completely responsible for a tiny human being.
Our days become filled with new and never-ending responsibilities, it can become quite easy for a mother to feel like she’s losing herself due to the demands of motherhood. This is normal and the more we speak of it, the more we realise that we’re not alone.
Becoming a mother is an event like no other in your lifetime. There’s no clear point where the mother ends and the child begins and it’s essential that you include yourself in the nurturing of your family.
Feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of motherhood is something I hear about a lot from the women I work with. If this is you, here are some ideas to help ease that burden:
1 – Never forget that EVERY other mother is making it up as she goes along too. It doesn’t matter what you think you see, no one has all the answers.
2 – Stop comparing yourself to other women. If you find yourself looking at or reading about others and it leaves you feeling low or not good enough, recognise that you have the power to change this. Read an inspiring book, write some powerful affirmations. Remind yourself of all that you are, no one can mother your baby like you can.
3 – Celebrate what you have accomplished today. For every one thing you think you’ve failed at, there are at least ten things you’ve succeeded at. Make a list of everything you’ve done since you woke up this morning, include all the little wins you’ve had during the day.
4 – Ask for help. Think of at least one thing that you can ask for help with that will make your life easier. Get very specific about what it is you would like, this will help you feel more confident when asking.
Once you’ve worked your way through these suggestions, I would ask you to think about the one thing you can do to nourish yourself right now. When you have an answer, think about how best to start gently implementing this into your life.
Special thanks to Jaq from Our Brave Hearts for sharing these thoughts & tips.
I especially like number 3. As Mothers we are so quick to focus on the things we didn’t do or the things we did, but not to the standard we would have liked… it’s so important to cut ourselves some slack and focus on the positives in our day!